Writer's Block
by Ava Lux
Summary: How do the Buffy characters feel about the events of season 3 and 4? They're lesst than pleased, I can tell you that...But the question is, who's going to do anything about it?


This is an exercise in how easily I can convince the people around me into thinking I've gone off the deep end. And working on character traits. But mostly it's just fun.  
  
Amanda sighed and glared at her computer.  
  
'Writer's blocks a bitch', she thought angrily.  
  
"Come on, already! Finish your story." Xander taunted.  
  
"Hey. You know, I can do whatever I want to you. Exhibit A." She typed a few words and he changed into a small, talking squirrel.  
  
"Not funny! I thought I was one of your favorites." He said, swatting at his long, bushy tail. Willow, Buffy, and Angel all started to laugh. Cordy looked horrified, and Oz stood there being, well, Oz.  
  
"I'm the author, and what I say goes. It's pretty fun. And you were getting on my nerves."  
  
Cordelia raised her hand, as if in class. "Um, is he gonna stay this way?"  
  
"Nah." She deleted the last sentence and Xander was back to his normal self.  
  
"Your writer's block fixed yet?" Willow asked. She didn't want to get on this girls bad side.she seemed kinda unstable.  
  
"I heard that. But hey, it's not that far off the mark, so I'll let it go."  
  
The writer got back on task. "You all are here for a reason. I'm trying to write a story. And its not going so well. So I brought you guys to help. My muses, if you will. So, start talking. What don't you like about the direction the show's taking?"  
  
"Them." Cordy pointed to Willow and Xander.  
  
"If they don't stop messing around soon, I'm gonna have to start breaking bones. Or getting Angel to do it for me. Angel, you up for some Xander- bashing?"  
  
The Vampire just grinned.  
  
"Ok, ok, I get the point." Xander hid behind Buffy.  
  
"What else? Come on, I need inspiration here."  
  
"I'm cool with whatever." Oz said.  
  
"You're not gonna be much help, are you?"  
  
"Guess not. Do you think maybe you have an anger problem?"  
  
"Back on track, people. Buffy, Joss seems to hate you. You must have something to complain about."  
  
"As a matter of fact, I do. This whole Angel-and-Buffy-must-not-be-happy thing is really starting to piss me off."  
  
'This could work.' Amanda thought. "Keep going." She said to Buffy.  
  
"Okey dokey. See, we're totally in love. And those stupid writers keep trying to sabotage us! The only way we can ever be happy is in Fan Fiction."  
  
"Yea!" Willow cut in. "Apparently, if we're all happy and stuff, the show's gonna get pretty dull. So they bring back old flames to torture us with so the shows more interesting! It doesn't make any sense."  
  
"And then they spin Angel and me off to his own show. And make me a secretary! What the hell's that about? What happened to my international super stardom, huh?"  
  
"I'm not too keen on trying to eat Willow." Oz spoke up. "I don't like Asia so much. Rather stay in Sunnydale."  
  
"I want a higher education! And to not live in a basement." Xander added.  
  
Amanda could hardly type up their list of demands fast enough. When she was done, she read it back to them. "Basically, you want me to re-write your history right before homecoming?"  
  
They all nodded. "I can totally do that. Finally, I have my story." She started to type out her idea just as the phone rang.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hey. How's your story coming?"  
  
"Jess. Hey. You wouldn't believe me if I told you."  
  
"Try me."  
  
"I talked to the Buffy characters and got my inspiration from their angry rants. And now that I say it, I feel really stupid."  
  
"And crazy. Like, Drusilla level nuts."  
  
"Thanks. I can always count on my best friend to commit me to the insane asylum."  
  
"When you go, do you want purple padded walls, or the usual off-white?"  
  
"Hm. You're just jealous cuz the fictional characters only talk to me."  
  
"Yep. Just keep telling yourself that. I'm gonna go and laugh at you for a while, ok? Call me when you're done so I can read your next masterpiece."  
  
They hung up the phones and Amanda got back to work.  
  
"She's right, you know. You're a total nutcase." Angel pointed out. "You're talking to us, and we don't exist."  
  
"Yes, well, this is what happens when they take coffee away from the insomniacs." She said. "And hey, a good story will come out of this. Because if I don't write a follow up, my friends and family are gonna have me committed."  
  
And just for the record, no, the Buffy characters don't talk to me. It'd be funny, but they don't. Sorry. 


End file.
